Once upon a time, the Fortune Cookie Soap box was my most anticipated subscription service. It is, for what it’s worth, so beautifully curated, and unboxing it was always such a fun experience. Perhaps at the same time as I stopped being excited by the world of indie cosmetics and started being exhausted by them, the box lost its spark for me.
It’s still a fun box, but my judgement is less clouded by blind enthusiasm now and I am more clear with my pros and cons. I’ll elaborate on those after I’ve spoken about each item in this particular box, so jump to below if you’d like an overall review on my feelings about the Fortune Cookie Soap Box.
This quarter’s theme is “Through the Wardrobe”, referencing the Chronicles of Narnia, and I would assume specifically The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe. I have a broad enough knowledge of popular culture to know that, but as per usual most of the references in each of the products fly right over my head.
I can’t recall receiving the $10 voucher I’m supposed to get with each box, but I’ll dig around for it. If I can’t find it, hopefully it comes soon?
“Always Winter” OCD Hand Sanitizer – This is supposed to smell like fir needles, cinnamon, cranberries, apple curls and cedar, and I mostly get apple and cinnamon with a bit of a sourness to it. I usually really like the hand sanitisers, and it’s really convenient to have them around, but this one is packed with literal chunks of glitter. It leaves them all over your hands? It’s bizarre.
“Father Christmas” Whipped Cream – I don’t get any of the suggested snow or juniper, just the vanilla cupcakes and a bunch of unmentioned cinnamon. I don’t love the formula of these, it’s way too thick for me and it leaves me sticky. God, it smells good though. I might take it with me on the plane.
“Sweeties” Fortune Cookie Soap – Turkish delight scented, this is too sweet for me, and these soaps melt really easily so I keep them by the sink.
“Dream of a Dream” Dusting Powder – My grandma was always a fan of dusting powders, but I’ve never been keen on them. I’ll give it a go. Lavender, vanilla and soft musk, but I do definitely pick up the patchouli. Perhaps it will be good between my thighs in summer – I’ve heard a lot of people use dusting powders to aid in preventing chafing.
“Lion’s Breath” Perfume Oil – I do quite like this perfume, but it smells a little strange on my skin. It’s sweet with a blast of fresh woodiness – frost, fir, pomegranate – but there’s something off about it that I just can’t place.
“Hide and Seek” Whipped Soap – Another thing that might come away with me, although I do tend to go through whipped soaps pretty quickly compared to liquids. It smells lovely – the coconut and allspice and chocolate balance out the coffee so that I can enjoy it instead of being overwhelmed by coffee.
“Deep Magic” Shampoo Bar – No matter how much better people claim they are, I just can’t get behind shampoo bars. They’re just a pain to store, and I have so much hair that using them isn’t as economical as it should be. This smells nice and herbal, and I will use it, but it’ll only get a few uses before it gets way too grotty.
“Small Favors” Pedi-Bomb – One of many references I don’t get, I love the smell of this pedi bomb but it’s also a product I will not use because my feet do not get the TLC they deserve. The honey/tobacco blend is really nice and unusual, but it’s not my kind of product.
With this box, there is one product I flat out will not use (the pedi bomb), three I will begrudgingly use for the sake of using (shampoo bar, fortune cookie soap, dusting powder), three products with imperfect formulas but lovely scents (perfume oil, hand sanitiser and whipped cream) and one I’m excited about (whipped soap). It’s the second box in a row that has been, on balance, not great for my personal tastes. If I can get my arse into gear, I will most likely unsubscribe before the next one.
It is not to say that I don’t enjoy the company, or that the box is not great. It’s an expensive box (it costs me around $40AUD per season) and the products inside are sample sized, which would be fine, but a $10 voucher becomes largely useless in the international scale when you can’t use it towards shipping. The actual products the company makes are great – I love the foaming hand soaps, lip scrubs, hand sanitisers and shower steamers – but while the balance in the box tends to vary, you have no control over the kind of products. For instance, I constantly receive bath products, which I have no use for. You tend to also start to get product fatigue – if you don’t like the formula of, say, the whipped creams, there’s only so many times you can receive them and care. But again: always well curated, if you like the theme there’s a lot of care given to it. The scents are simple, but they’re nice, generally. They tend to be love it or leave it.
I’d give this box a 2/10, and my Fortune Cookie Soap experience has been a lot of fun, but it’s time for it to come to an end. Unless they want to send it to me. Hear that, Fortune Cookie Soap? You should do that, instead. Send your boxes to the worst person.
Lipstick for Losers 